20 Years On

She tells me she is no longer the girl of 20 years ago
business has made her hard and rude and she is busy all the time.
She now has a 2 year son, a boy friend gone, her decision
she says, so it is OK and I try to imagine what 20 years
has done to her body and face which was once so beautiful
and I imagine she could still be beautiful, still desirable
but now with a seriousness a heaviness that was absent
20 years ago, and perhaps with a sense that love is a luxury
that only the young and the naïve can afford. I try to imagine
her life, her daily commute, on bus or train, jostled
by others, carrying papers, worries, the intense work
the day where smiles and laughter are rare and calculated,
her return home in the evening, tired, worn out, looking
forward to seeing her son who is a joy and a burden, a routine
that goes on forever. I imagine myself visiting her again
rekindling our love again, dormant these 20 years,

and I ask myself, is this what I really want?

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Copyright 2017© by Peter D. Goodwin